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Gazlaaar

Autism

155 posts in this topic

As a few of you know, my lad was diagnosed last year, it's not been an easy road in fact sometimes it's been pretty difficult, but I think Ben is getting on fine, I've had to do a lot of learning along the way.

All I want him to be is happy, and for the better part he is bless him.

Anyway, we took him to Drayton Manor today, it wouldn't of even crossed my mind because I know what ben is like in queues, it's a no go area really.

But Drayton Manor offer a special ticket if you go to the help desk. You have to show them proof, Diagnosis or DLA letter, but they gave ben a pass to jump the queue as it were for 10 rides, and 4 carers or family members are allowed to accompany him.

I didn't want to go on half of the rides as it meant I would of been taking up a whole cart as they are made up of 4 seats, Id rather anot her family took the cart.

So I left my missus to do the brunt of the rides, I get to experience all sorts with him so I'm not really going without. Anyway, there were a few downers but on the whole, a great day, and what a difference the pass makes.

If anyone us thinking of going to any of the theme parks, ask the question, it just might make all the difference :)

nealjt likes this

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My son and heir is autistic.... We use to do that at pleasure beach at Blackpool but we queue now Gary.... It took a while,but,he copes better now as he's grown older.

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He was getting better as the day went on, there were other family's who also had the same passes as us, and ben didn't understand the waiting his turn bit, if you know what I mean. Certain stuff he picks up really quickly, but other, not at all without a lot of coaching.

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My boy is 9 now Gary... We still have the odd dramas but it's worked out ok over the last few years.... Sometimes.

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How does he get on at school Steve?

We have to start looking this year, the one thing I'm most worried about is bullying. It's not the same as it was when I was at school granted but I do really worry about him.

He's got this innocence about him, he doesn't understand that people can be unkind.

We are looking at a few school but we have one or two in mind

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We was really lucky,we had a school nearby that catererd for kids with learning difficulties and he got a lot of one to one help. My main worry is in 12 months time he will be going into mainstream senior school,and the kids can be ruthless. He's also started clicking on that he's different than other kids,which can be upsetting (for me not him) so I suppose that's our next hurdle. But throughout all his life ive just tried to treat him normal. It's a cruel world out there,and I'm doing my best to see he knows that and can look after himself.

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Me and my missus have talked about that a lot. As he gets older you can notice it more and more, and while he's little nobody really notices he's different. He's just totally oblivious to it all, he chats a lot, I think he's sorting things out in his head by chatting about it. When he gets nervous his whole demeanour changes, he rocks side to side on his feet.

I notice little things because I'm with him all of the time. Being so close to a city there's plenty of choices for him, his specialists have been very good and they are supporting him through every stage.

All we can really do us try to encourage him in a positive way.

He loves cars, trains, planes anything that moves.

I took him on a public bus the other day, a normal thing that everyone does every day, but he loved it, constant smile on his face during the journey. Then you sort of have to prepare him for the end of the journey so he knows it's coming.

We've had a lot to learn and we've had to learn a specific way of treating him.

Your right though, people can be cruel, I've already heard comments, I don't react, I'd love to but I don't want Ben exposed to it yet.

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Me and my missus have talked about that a lot. As he gets older you can notice it more and more, and while he's little nobody really notices he's different. He's just totally oblivious to it all, he chats a lot, I think he's sorting things out in his head by chatting about it. When he gets nervous his whole demeanour changes, he rocks side to side on his feet.

I notice little things because I'm with him all of the time. Being so close to a city there's plenty of choices for him, his specialists have been very good and they are supporting him through every stage.

All we can really do us try to encourage him in a positive way.

He loves cars, trains, planes anything that moves.

I took him on a public bus the other day, a normal thing that everyone does every day, but he loved it, constant smile on his face during the journey. Then you sort of have to prepare him for the end of the journey so he knows it's coming.

We've had a lot to learn and we've had to learn a specific way of treating him.

Your right though, people can be cruel, I've already heard comments, I don't react, I'd love to but I don't want Ben exposed to it yet.

 

heyup Gaz, sorry bud i should have given you the heads up about que jumping bands ages ago, my bad!!

 

on the school front you really need to try and see if you can get him into an autism/aspergers specific school, i dont know if you have any local to you but take it from me it would be a real step toward normality on a day to day basis for ben and yourselves.

Dan is now 11 and after the first few years in a school that professed to cater and him spending more time at home than school because he was excluded, we took the jump and moved to wolves so we could enroll him in the right place.

he now is being educated at 6th form level, that is age 18 and he is bored with it :)

the school have their own sports complex inc swimming pool, athletics track, cinema, mood room and sensory gardens.

it is a relatively new school that they had built specially two years ago and they only have 90 pupils in the whole school, damned pity your not nearer.

get onto your local education dept and for Bens sake dont fall for the 'oh we wanted to keep him in mainstream school' trap as that will fetter him in ways you could never imagine, apart from the bullying he will be held back on things that he grasps ahead of the other kids in the class and may fall short on things that he needs some time on as the school wont hold the rest back for him to catch up.

he will be in a situation where he will have to be sociable all the time and that can be a major problem for some mainstream kids nevermind someone with special talents like ben, that will lead to frustration (everything does lol) and that will prob lead to trouble.

how far are you from me gaz??

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Near enough Halesowen Jon

We have a couple of specialist schools near us, and we have a couple of mistreat schools that cater for autistic kids as well. In fact my misses 2 kids bothwell to the primary school we hoping he'll get in. Their just a fantastic school, we have the backing and support of the local authority, I think we've explored nearly every avenue.

I feel it's my job to make sure he experiences as much as he can. The past few weeks have been really good for him. He's learning to fish, he's been to Drayton Manor, he's been on a bus, in a fire engine, in an ambulance, just so many every day things, but I feel it's important he gets used to the outside world so he doesn't become afraid of it. Familiarity is a key word with ben, I can tell when he's uncomfortable by his body language, I sometimes know what he's going to do before he does and I react and distract it before it happens, but I'm with him every day, so I know him quite well.

I just worry about him being alone and having to deal with stuff without me but then again he has to progress and learn for himself.

I just worry mate, so much so he's the reason I've stopped smoking and started looking after myself, I'm just not sure how long he's going to need me around, so id better make sure I'm there :)

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I wont say i envy you because i have had a lot of contact with these kids up to high teens, there isnt a set way of progressing them, they are all individual cases, but the one thing that stands out is their IQ,  they have focus on any problem that faces them, that is dealt with by pure logic and their view of an ideal world, they will evovle eventually and know they are different, but this focus can lead to genius, its not a disability, its an advantage that needs professional management, one to one teaching , the thought of mainstream education scares me, you must get special conditions for these kids, potential genius could be missed. Happy birthday Stevo, hope you had lots of pressies mate.

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Near enough Halesowen Jon

We have a couple of specialist schools near us, and we have a couple of mistreat schools that cater for autistic kids as well. In fact my misses 2 kids bothwell to the primary school we hoping he'll get in. Their just a fantastic school, we have the backing and support of the local authority, I think we've explored nearly every avenue.

I feel it's my job to make sure he experiences as much as he can. The past few weeks have been really good for him. He's learning to fish, he's been to Drayton Manor, he's been on a bus, in a fire engine, in an ambulance, just so many every day things, but I feel it's important he gets used to the outside world so he doesn't become afraid of it. Familiarity is a key word with ben, I can tell when he's uncomfortable by his body language, I sometimes know what he's going to do before he does and I react and distract it before it happens, but I'm with him every day, so I know him quite well.

I just worry about him being alone and having to deal with stuff without me but then again he has to progress and learn for himself.

I just worry mate, so much so he's the reason I've stopped smoking and started looking after myself, I'm just not sure how long he's going to need me around, so id better make sure I'm there :)

 

 

haha!! i can see where you are coming from gaz but trust me when i say that wrapping them up in cotton wool does absolutely no good bud.

i know it sounds harsh but if you see him doing or about to do something a bit stupid that may cause a slight harm like a scuffed knee/elbow or a bump then let it go as that is an important step in learning, even more important for someone who doesn't know the meaning of danger, you can always cuddle and mollify ben after the fact then go and have a private moment where he cant see your upset with yourself :wink:

i dont know what the catchment area is for dans school, i do know it surpasses the usual boundaries and they take kids from primary school age too.

they stay at the school from start right thru to college so there is no chopping and changing of their environment or to an extent their peers to, so any friendships made are there for a long time.

if you want i will make some inquiries for ya?

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I wont say i envy you because i have had a lot of contact with these kids up to high teens, there isnt a set way of progressing them, they are all individual cases, but the one thing that stands out is their IQ,  they have focus on any problem that faces them, that is dealt with by pure logic and their view of an ideal world, they will evovle eventually and know they are different, but this focus can lead to genius, its not a disability, its an advantage that needs professional management, one to one teaching , the thought of mainstream education scares me, you must get special conditions for these kids, potential genius could be missed. Happy birthday Stevo, hope you had lots of pressies mate.

 

this part of your post stands out to me steve, i know certain people on here will denigrate anything that you say but the highlighted section of this post is a stumbling point for most parents of autistic kids, i started off reading what i thought was going to be (forgive me for this) yet another sympathetic remark by someone with no personal experience of the subject but then you just segued into pure genius and gave what i thought was some pretty perceptive advice. thanks for that :wink:

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Oh believe me all the little bits and pieces I let him get on with, my missus has told me on a lot of occasions I'm too protective, so I do hold back a hell of a lot.

I'm just on about being there for the psychological stuff, that's where I can help him the most :)

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Oh believe me all the little bits and pieces I let him get on with, my missus has told me on a lot of occasions I'm too protective, so I do hold back a hell of a lot.

I'm just on about being there for the psychological stuff, that's where I can help him the most :)

 

what amazed me was the sheer number of people that i know (in one form or another) that have kids on the spectrum, people who for the most part would never have divulged this info in the normal course of conversation about kids.

i have always said that for the most part all the info you need to help you meet the needs of your child and family is in the hands (or minds) of like parents, parents like yourself, stevo, Tim and me but who have already gone thru what we can be struggling with.

i love this thread :lol:

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From what I understand everyone of us has traits of autism.

Various things we do or say, the way we behave, on our own and with others, it's there in everyone of us.

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Something else worth a meniton chaps

 

Theres a charity called Family Fund, you can apply for help towards anything you want the would benefit your child.

We applied for bens swimming lessons to be paid for as he responds a lot better on a one to one basis.

Plus last week they sent out a £50 gift card for Bens brothers under the title of Siblings Matter Too, that's why we all went to Drayton Manor.

 

I know of other families who have applied for laptops, room recognition redecorating, holidays and all kinds of stuff, so it's always worth enquiring.

 

www.familyfund.org.uk

Edited by Gazlaaar

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Something else worth a meniton chaps

 

Theres a charity called Family Fund, you can apply for help towards anything you want the would benefit your child.

We applied for bens swimming lessons to be paid for as he responds a lot better on a one to one basis.

Plus last week they sent out a £50 gift card for Bens brothers under the title of Siblings Matter Too, that's why we all went to Drayton Manor.

 

I know of other families who have applied for laptops, room recognition redecorating, holidays and all kinds of stuff, so it's always worth enquiring.

 

www.familyfund.org.uk

 

wonder if they can get me a nice 5 bedroom house in the stix somewhere :wink:

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just had a look at that site and it looks like they are doing a good thing, it will come in very handy for those people that find they are stretched financially just when they need it the most.

the problem with this type of charity tho is that the right people rarely find out about them, if they dont advertise they dont reach the ones who could do with the help but if they do advertise they leave themselves open to exploitation by others, kind of damned if you do sort of situation.

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I read this thread with interest, partly because I hope I never discriminated against any disability, (I hate that word, I prefer differently abled), but partly because last year I was diagnosed high functioning Autistic, Aspbergers syndrome myself; at the age of 46 for heavens sake :!:

What brought it to light was the depression I was suffering from, my separation and those issues, overwork, causing stress and depression, and when I started this current job, my occupational health nurse at work offered full testing and support.

 

As a child in school I found some subjects very easy, I hardly had to do any work, and I understood it, some subjects I want to understand even now I absorb very easily, and I am usually quick at problem solving. Yet other subjects I was very disruptive because I 'could not get it'.

I also have a very quick temper, get very angry and frustrated and can take an argument to extremes.

 

What I will say, as much as you may want your boy to go to mainstream school, the teacher support may not always be the best, not intentionally, new teachers, or even long term teachers who don't teach him may not understand or know his difficulties.

If he is in a specially supported school, all the teachers and staff understand how special these children are, and can deal with any difficulties as they know what is going in.

They also tend to know how to explain and teach in the best manner for Autistism sufferers.

 

It is a very difficult choice, you want Ben to have the best education, and also to experience real life on real terms, the two do not always go together.

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I used to crew a large passenger ambulance boat on the Nene for the St Johns ambulance, on Fridays, we used to take deserving groups on 6 hour cruises between Becketts park and Somerleys park, these included parties of autistic kids, some where difficult to chat with, some were very inquisitive, all were different, and over the years we had repeat visits from kids i had seen at an earlier stage, they were all very individual and changed with age reveiving their own perception of the world. They dont suffer fools or sypathy and can be very difficult but these guys and gals had one to one from their carers and i have no doubt some of those kids will be high acheivers way above some of the kids that mock them in childhood, beleive me they can handle it and will, just hope you get the support you need.

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Guys, hope you don't mind me jumping in on this thread. Both my boys are autistic, tom is 6 and profound global delay asd, non verbal etc etc and alfie is 3 but more towards the aspergers end but also suffered chronic lung failure as a baby so his needs are pretty complex too. Thomas is at a specialist school for severe difficulties and alfie is in mainstream nursery for now. A lot of what I've read on the thread I totally understand too.

I've been learning about the boys for sometime now and am really starting to get my head around it all.

Steve.

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Steve,welcome. Stevo Jnr had mild aspergers. Things do get better,it's a long road to walk. I've not long come back from a fantastic day with my kids,as my FB can confirm. Jnr even at 9 still has the odd drama and of course it's upsetting to see boys his age doing what boys do,but. We've all had a great day,we live our life's for ourselfs,not others. x

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